I wrote the following post many months ago, but I resisted the urge to share it. I felt it might ignite a hunger in some viewers that I would find irritating. Before sharing it, I wanted to be sure that I was ready for the potential onslaught of self-destructive moths that would be drawn to my dark flame. Well, times have changed and I am ready for you, weak little freaks. So here is my poodle post along with an update at the end.
My freaky little poodle….
Poodle has been mine off and on for a long time. We have taken breaks here and there and she always drifts back. I enjoy her spunky personality. She can be bold and colorful, but poodle has never been especially submissive and I have always been consistently dominant. There has always been a wee disconnect.
As soon as I defined my dark side as The She Wolf, poodle expressed interest. She was so excited. Nervous, even scared, but oh so excited. Poodle couldn’t wait to be consumed. She was my first.
I was nervous, too. This was new for me. Unleashing my darkest impulses. Neither one of us knew what to expect. So we just experimented a lot. And oh my! We had so much fun together. So much fun. And it was all so memorable. For both of us, I think. It was a thrill. To devour my silly poodle. To abuse her so. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. Cracking her wide open. I had never seen my girl be so submissive in all our years of previous play. I had never seen her roll over and offer her underbelly as she did with The Wolf. Who knew that my gurl was a true masochist?
You cannot consume someone forever, though. It is by nature a finite process. Poodle and I both understood this. We enjoyed it while it lasted. And when the money ran out, and the newness wore off, we saw what was to come and we enjoyed the dying light together.
Could poodle have returned to my kinder self, to June, to Elite Domme? Of course she could and perhaps she will in time. But it wouldn’t be the same. We both knew that. Poodle is an adrenaline junky. And an attention whore. And she does not enjoy the mundane aspects of devotion and routine service. That’s exactly why she was drawn to The She Wolf. So when her time of being useful to The Wolf had come to an end, we both understood that she would not be satisfied or satisfying as a devoted servant to my lighter loving self. At least not for a while.
Poodle moved on to serve a new mistress who was more inclined to indulge her inner diva. Posting endless pictures of poodle on blogs and social media and telling poodle’s story over and over. Activities that held no interest for me. I sincerely hoped that she was happy in her service to this new Goddess.
But I suspect that poodle still has darker dreams and enjoys her memories of our time of brutal discovery. I suspect that my delicious poodle still longs for my touch and aches for my pain. And it would not surprise me if poodle comes crawling back one day, offering up all that she has to suffer in any way that might amuse me, even if just for one last moment. To feel my sharp sexy teeth sinking in to her soft sweet spots. Tearing open the wounds again. Sucking her dry again. Feeding until she is achingly empty again.
Do you miss me, ridiculous poodle?
… Licking my lips …
UPDATE: Poodle has, in fact, come crawling back to me. Speaking in dreamy terms about our special time together. Asking if she may serve the wolf again. I am still weighing my options. Eventually, I will let you know what happens to the poor little fluffy fag.